stock-footage-mother-with-her-two-children-reading-a-book-on-a-sofa

I have a belief that I have formed over the 10 plus years of being a mother.

I believe that some people are born with the innate ability to be a magnificent parent – to effortlessly and effectively bring out the best in their kids and delight in the process.

And others (like me) are born with NO SUCH ABILITY. For us, being a parent can be a surprise to discover that this is something we are not instantly brilliant at, maybe for the first time in our lives. We are NOT born with any innate ability to be a child whisperer. It’s certainly not effortless. It feels like too much of the time we are not all that effective. And all of that is actually heart breaking….because no one told us that we wouldn’t know exactly how to do this magnificently when that baby came out!

As I’ve gotten older, my friends and acquaintances are mostly parents, and I have come to a NEW belief. When I first became a mother, I thought that most people were in the first category (innate ability), and only I was in the second category (NO such ability).

I’m now pretty freakin’ sure that MOST parents who really care about being an awesome parent fall into that second category. And the people in that first category are actually the beautiful souls that come into this world with being a child whisperer as their unique brilliance and gift in this world!

Like my sister-in-law Kerri. I’ve knows that Kerri’s unique brilliance was being a mother for our entire lives (I’ve known her since she was 9 years old) even though she actually just became a mother last year! She just came into this world with parenting as her unique brilliance! That’s what makes her a great teacher as well as an outstanding mother!

So this is what I have discovered…..you know how I always say that “magnificent relationships are CREATED, not found, so stop searching and start building because it is so worth it!”

I have discovered that it is the SAME for parenting!

Being an empowered and effective parent and enjoying the journey is something that is CREATED….you are not born with that ability….so stop judging yourself for it and start creating it – IT’S SO WORTH IT!!!!

Today, this is my experience of parenting…..

I treasure the unique brilliance in each of my children. Most of the time I effortlessly handle their every day ups and downs with ease and grace. I have a TON OF FUN with my kids! I am wildly playful with them. I have a deeply honest and real relationship with each of them. I do not treat them the same. I do not get frustrated on a daily basis….I enjoy watching their journey. I trust myself in every situation….the ones I am prepared for and the ones I am totally not prepared for! I focus on what matters, and let go of the rest. I may not always actually DO what I know works, but I do KNOW what works and when I forget, I can get right back into it!

I actually LOVE being a parent and guess what….I think I freakin’ rock at being a parent! The parent that MY kids need me to be!

Does the shit still hit the fan around here and do I still have crap?! Oh hell yes! But like in relationships, I know how to handle what comes, I trust myself that what I’m doing is the best thing for my kids and I do NOT stay STUCK in the crap for very long!

What changed for me? How did I go from feeling like a total failure and panicked that I was fucking up my kids’ entire lives to being a mother that I am wicked proud to be??

For me, I feel it comes down to FOUR keys:

  • Personal growth and development work for ME
  • A perspective shift on parenting
  • Parenting tools & strategies that really work
  • Expert guidance

I have another belief in life…Any area of your life where you have pain is an area you need to grow in! If parenting is a struggle for you (whether mildly or massively) it’s because you are supposed to GROW here!

You know I can’t sugar coat, so I’m just going to be blunt, parent to parent – it’s NOT your kid’s job to be the kid you want them to be…it’s your freakin’ job to parent them in a way that allows them to flourish into who they already are! (and it took every ounce of will power I had to say freakin’)

Since I personally believe in MODELING…finding someone who is wildly successful at what I want to do and teaching it successfully and repeatedly to many people who are getting the results I want… I sought out a solution!

I was seeking someone who was teaching tools & strategies that really worked, in a way that aligned with what Paul and I believe about creating a life by design, having personal responsibility, empowering yourself to create what you want and absolutely living from unconditional love and compassion.

Divinely guided, I found Amy McCready of Positive Parenting Solutions!

I began listening to Amy’s proven positive parenting approach methodology and applying her strategies the same day. THAT night, our household was very different. No yelling, no fighting, no repeating ….there was happy, peaceful, cooperation!

And our parenting has never been the same since!

Paul and I are so grateful to Amy there really are no words! How can you ever thank someone who empowered you to do something so life-changing as empower you to be the best parent you can possibly be for your kids and increase your quality of life by 1000 percent?!

So, we have decided to PAY IT FORWARD!

We want to share Amy with YOU! We want YOU to get the same tools & strategies that completely transformed our family and empowered us to create the positive, happy and delightful parenting experience that we have today!!!

That’s why I have invited Amy to join me in a webinar for you!!!!! You are invited to join us, totally free!!! Tuesday August 26th at 2 pm eastern time! http://bit.ly/1sxUHp3

In this content-packed webinar, Amy will share her proven tools for your most frustrating discipline dilemmas including her 5 R’s of Fair & Effective Consequences! I will also ask Amy to share with you my number one go-to strategy that I use every day….it’s a game changer!!!!!

You can experience a shift in your household that same night….just like me! I so want that for you! I want that for your kids!!!!

Space is limited, so please RSVP NOW: http://bit.ly/1sxUHp3

You are NOT failing at parenting….it’s just that no one has yet showed you the tools & strategies and step-by-step plan that actually works to be the parent your kids need YOU to be! You absolutely can raise autonomous, authentic, empowered, confident, contributing and personally responsible children! And Amy can give you her secrets to doing it easily and effectively!

Join us! RSVP: http://bit.ly/1sxUHp3

Sending love,

Stacey

p.s. Amy has since become a very dear friend to Paul and I! We absolutely adore her (and her hubby & two teenage boys) and are thrilled to share her with you! Amy is the founder of Positive Parenting Solutions and the author of If I Have to Tell You One More Time…The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids to Listen Without Nagging, Reminding or Yelling. Amy is a regular parenting contributor on The TODAY Show and has also appeared on Rachael Ray, CBS This Morning, CNN, Fox & Friends, MSNBC, Steve Harvey and elsewhere.

{ 4 Brilliant Comments from Dedicated Reader }

robinwilliams

This week the world lost a great man. Robin Williams was truly unique….there was no one else on this planet like Robin. And even in his passing, he gave us a great gift, if we choose to open it, a deep life lesson.

When I first saw the post that said Robin had killed himself I was stunned. All I could hear in my head was “No, No, No, No.” When I realized it was in fact true, and that he took his own life, I began to cry.

My rational brain was questioning this response. I heard the typical “brain” chatter in my head “You didn’t even know this guy.”

But, perhaps as you did, I was truly saddened by the tragedy of this loss!

He took his own life! Oh, the tragedy. What a huge loss!

Interestingly enough, perhaps for you too, I was NOT actually surprised that he took his own life, I was just struck by the loss that it had happened.

We have all had the delicious pleasure of laughing uncontrollably watching Robin over the years. Whether it was on SNL, Mrs. Doubtfire, Aladdin or one of my favorite movies in the history of the world…The Birdcage! (I had to see it twice in the theater because I laughed so hard the first time, I missed parts of the movie).

We’ve also seen some of the depth of Robin’s drama and darkness in such incredible performances as Good Will Hunting, Dead Poets Society, One Hour Photo, and What Dreams Will Come.

So why am I not surprised that in the end Robin took his life. And why are you? Shocked at the news, YES? Surprised at the outcome, Not Really. Why is that?

It’s the Yin and the Yang.

Robin was one of the most unique souls on the planet. The heights of funny and hysterics that he could reach were unique. And the SPEED at which he FLOWED his content was un-human. You know what I mean by that?

Paul and I went to see Robin a few years ago in Atlantic City. It was one of the funniest nights ever. And there were times when I sat back in my seat in awe that his human form could keep up with the speed of the “download” flow that he was receiving! That kind of “improvisation” as some may call it, I believe is really “downloaded” to him in a very fierce, fast, and powerful flow.

If you’ve ever operated from your “flow” state, you know what I mean! But witnessing Robin’s flow state was like taking ours and increasing the volume and speed a few THOUSAND percent! It literally looked too intense for his physical body.

In fact, have you ever seen Robin Live? If you have, you know for a fact that when Robin performs live, he sweats like crazy. He talks about it openly. When I saw him, I could FEEL it, the ENERGY that comes through him in that flow state is so fast and so intense…it is literally HOT.

So why am I not surprised?

Anyone who can go to that kind of HEIGHT can also go to a matched LOW.

If we are baffled how he can reach that kind of HEIGHT of flow, brilliance, creativity and comedic genius….then we can never imagine the depth of the low that he can reach as well.

Robin was a very deep thinker. His humor was never “stupid or silly.” He was “sharp as a tack.” That’s because he was a brilliant and deep thinker.

Joseph McClendon III once said “You MUST stand guard at the gates of your own mind!”

That’s the quote that I hear in my head for Robin. For me, that’s the unopened gift that Robin left for us.

You MUST stand guard at the gates of your own mind. You can chose to spiral UP or spiral DOWN….the choice is always yours.

It comes down to your focus.

So let me ask you, are you standing GUARD at the gates of YOUR own mind?

Are you creating your life by design every day or living a life by default?

Did you ever notice how vocal Robin was about the world’s BIG problems and the people who were in place as the problem-solvers? He talked about it a lot. Both as a comedic in his act and also seriously in the media. He thought a great deal about big problems that he COULD NOT SOLVE on his own. He focused a lot on the people who were supposed to be solving them and their shortcomings.

I’m not saying that is why he took his own life. I would never say that.

But what I am pointing out is this

  • Robin was a deep thinker.
  • He went to un-human highs and could dip down to likely matching un-human lows.
  • Someone with this range MUST stand guard at the gates of his own mind to keep him out of those deep lows or bouncing back quickly or it can be very dangerous.
  • He spent a great deal of his time focused on problems that were completely outside of his control. That’s not a healthy focus for a man with Robin’s software system.

It’s a pretty safe assumption that you do not have the same emotional range as Robin Williams. But you don’t need to. I’m not trying to prevent you from taking your own life today. I’m here to shine a light on this life lesson so you can really LIVE the days you have left here!

Life Lesson:

Are you focusing on what you CAN control in life, or are you spending most of your minutes focused on things that are beyond your control??

You have days left to live on this earth during your time here. You are one of the lucky ones. Robin is not so lucky today. And the world got just a smidge quieter when he departed.

So what are you going to do with your days that remain?

You MUST stand guard at the gates of your own mind my friend!

Focus on what you CAN control in life. Create your life by design.

For everything else, live in faith that our higher power has a plan bigger than we can imagine and all is well.

When it comes to your intimate relationship, the only piece that you CAN control is YOU. You cannot control your partner and you never will. Stand guard at the gates of your own mind. If you find yourself focused on your partner, blaming them, waiting for them to change….you are not opening the GIFT that Robin left behind. Focus on what you can control….YOU and how you show up in your relationship!

Post a comment below and tell me what you loved most about Robin! Let’s CELEBRATE his life today!!

Sending love & laughs,

Stacey

Robin, you are already endlessly missed. For me personally, I believe in my heart that you have returned to the energy that you came here from and all is well. Thank you for serving our world while you were here. Thank you for the pain that you endured to be here and serve us. We are grateful for the time we had with you. I promise to keep laughing, keep moving forward, and keep making a difference in the best possible way while I’m still serving here. Nothing but love and laughs for you my friend! No One on this planet will ever forget that YOU WERE HERE Robin!

{ 23 Brilliant Comments from Dedicated Reader }

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