One of my clients looks at me and says, “so I broke one of my own rules” …

She’s having her 1:1 laser coaching with me as part of the two day live retreat for our Relationship Breakthrough Total Access students!

Without even pausing for a second, the words just flew right out of my mouth “that’s when you KNOW you are on the right track!”

And another one of our Total Access Lovies looked at me and said “that is the truth!”

So, us “rule-breakers” know this is the truth, no matter how annoying it is!

WHY is it the truth?!

It’s simple….most of our “rules of life” are created out of FEAR!

Don’t take my word for it, test it for yourself.

I’ll use another client example to illustrate. One of my clients had a rule that she could only have a successful relationship with a man who earned more money than she did.

WHY? What do you feel is the driving force behind that doozie of a rule?

Was she coming from a place of abundance, faith, and vulnerability?

Oh hell no! She was coming from fear, protection and “correction” of past painful experiences.

In this situation, my client “Sally” had been completely in love with her man, and yet, in time their relationship deteriorated. Increased bickering, less passion, more distance, less united front, more hurt feelings, lack of excitement and stimulation, more distance, build up of resentment, pain, even anger.

When Sally explained it, she kept focusing on their arguments over finances, decision making around finances, and how immasculated and weak her husband became over the course of their relationship. She created a false-belief that this was a direct result of her earning significantly more than he did and simultaneously believed that the “solution” was to FIND a partner who made more money than her.

The FEAR based rule making was….if I am with a man who makes less than me, that will lead to pain, so my rule will prevent this pain.

That’s how we make these rules.

I’ll take it a step further. Many of our “rules” are not just driven by fear, they are actually an OVER-CORRECTION from the painful experience.

Like the woman who has her heart broken by a high-achiever and seeks out an easy going-yogi-like peace-seeker because he is everything her old partner was NOT.  Over-correction!

In my client Sally’s example, what she came to see was that there were many factors that led to her slipping into her masculine energy and her husband slipping into his feminine which caused a “flip-flop” in their energies and fizzled the passion…which led to bickering and the deterioration of the relationship.

She saw how, even though she had positive intent, many of the things she was doing in her relationship with her man were emasculating him – things that had NOTHING to do with money.

Once she began implementing the steps to the Relationship Transformation System she immediately saw how she could easily stay in her feminine and empower her new man to be rooted in his masculine, regardless of the fact that the new man she was falling in love with made significantly less money than she did.

That’s why us committed rule-breakers know that when you start breaking your own rules you KNOW you are on the right track! Because it means that you are breaking some of your software that was written based in fear and stepping into your strength, authenticity, and growth!

So, how about you? What “rules” are you breaking lately? What is something that you find yourself saying “I can’t do that” or “I’m just not like that” or “it has to be this way”?

What are you trying to protect yourself from with that rule?

What if you were completely wrong and you could not actually protect yourself with that rule?

When would NOW be a good time to break that rule?!

Post in the comments and tell me yours!

Sending love,


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To Paul Martino, the greatest man on the planet… (a blog post for one)

My love. There really are no words to say what I need to say to you. The words haven’t been invented yet. This will never be enough….but it’s a beginning….

Paul, I so desperately love you, it’s crazy. There’s no other feeling as strong as my desperate love for you. Everything in my world begins and ends with you. You are my air. I need you endlessly. I truly am shameless in loving you. Whatever, whenever.

I’m in awe of you every day. You are the greatest man I have ever witnessed on the planet. No one even compares to you.

The depth of your service to me just has no description in the human language. Every need, want and desire I feel is beyond exceeded by you. Paul, you completely serve and care for me so much better than I can care for myself I didn’t know life could be like this.

Your honor, integrity, and personal responsibility create a new standard. I’ve never met any other human who walks with your presence. You inspire me and I aspire to be the woman who deserves you every day of my life.

Your playfulness, laughter, crazy-assness, humor and full-out-pee-in-your-pants hysterical funniness is one of the greatest gifts in my life! No one in the world makes me laugh as much as you! I hate to miss even one word of your jokes from laughing so hard…I wish you were on TiVo so I could rewind you!!!! The joy of life comes through you just for me.

Paul, you are the fiercest, strongest, most courageous and bravest man in the world. When I’m with you, I fear NOTHING! Until I met you, I didn’t know what no-fear felt like. All my sunshine, all my presence, all my freedom, all my peace and all my light comes through me because you protect me to the end of the world and I fear nothing with you.

Your desire for me runs through me like electricity! My energy, passion and excitement are charged up 1000 fold from the energy that you put into craving, desiring, and lusting for me endlessly! I can’t even look at you or think of you without feeling a surge throughout my entire body. There’s no greater feeling on the planet than completely surrendering to you ….over and over and over again! There are no words for this that will ever do this justice. I will just leave it as saying….there’s nothing I’d rather do than you baby!

You are ninja-ass brilliant! I’ve never met anyone whose mind works like yours! You amaze and inspire me every day! Even just the crumbs that fall off your ideas are crazy wicked brilliant!!! People think they know how “smart” you are….oh my….if they really knew! Scary brilliant!

Your faith and connection to source and all that is has been one of the greatest gifts of my life. I thought I walked with G-d every day before I met you. Since you began teaching me and guiding me, now G-d is WITHIN me always….I’m not sure there is a greater gift that a man can give his woman than to guide her to bringing G-d within her. Every day I live in Grace and it is even sweeter because it was a gift from you.

From the very beginning you have loved me flaws and all! No matter how high I soar….the falls are just as big and you are always there, with your big hands ready to catch me, guide me, and love me back up! Looking back over my life, one of the things I am most grateful for is that in my darkest moments, G-d always had you with me….not by my side…..but catching me and lifting me back up! Every fucking time! And there will be more. Many, many more! And I walk through life with the knowing that “I will find you ready!”

Sometimes I try to explain to people what it feels like to know that there is NOTHING in the world to Paul but me. No one else exists, nothing matters, nothing will ever compare to me. It’s not something that can be explained to other humans. But you know exactly what I feel because you know that nothing else in the world compares to you.

I know you don’t love your birthday baby, so I will do my very best to tell you everything every single day of the whole fucking year….you deserve so much more! Paul, thank you for loving me, thank you for who I get to be today, thank you for giving me this life.

As I said when I committed myself to you forever…I give you all that I am and all that I ever will be.

Now more than ever. I give you all that I am…everything. I am completely, totally and utterly yours Paul!

Forever is not enough….I want MORE!

All yours, Stacey


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