I was paralyzed with fear…

January 22, 2015


I was paralyzed with fear….

About 4 seconds after I heard the sound I was out of bed, and standing at the top of the stairs.

It was the middle of the night. Paul was away. I was in the house with both kids sleeping in their beds. I heard a sound….like a door slamming.

Like I said, within seconds I was standing at the top of the stairs, basically blocking my kids doorway, phone in hand, keypad ready….already dialed 9-1…..holding my finger over the last 1.

Of course on my way to the stairs I glanced at the alarm dashboard…all doors are locked, no glass broken, all alarms armed – check.

So there I am at the top of the stairs…not breathing so I can hear ANYTHING….plans running through my mind. “what will I do?” “what was that noise?”

I waited….I waited…silence was all I heard.

Praying every single minute. Calling Archangel Michael to protect us, putting white light bubbles around us, our home, the neighbor’s home. Praying, praying, praying….but very still so I can hear everything with my “ridiculously sharp hearing.”

45 minutes goes by.

The tension started to leave my body. I sat down at the top of the stairs, blocking my “babies” bedroom door, phone in hand.

My prayer is starting to move me back into FAITH.

I get up….and go check the entire house.

Just as the alarm dashboard said, “all is well.”

I go back to bed and read until I fall asleep….the sun is coming up already by the time I nod off.

Fast forward 5 weeks!

It’s around midnight….I hear the SAME noise!

I jump up….but this time I get to do something completely different….

“Babe, did you hear that noise!?” (thank G-d Paul is home, right?!)

He’s already out of bed and across the room….”I heard it….go sit by the kids, I got it.”

Checked the alarm dashboard….”all is well” it reports – we are completely armed.

I sit at the top of the stairs, phone in hand, 9-1 pressed already….

Paul goes through the entire house.

About 6 minutes in, he happens to be in the kitchen and we hear the SAME noise…again!

2 seconds later I see him coming up the stairs.

“It’s the fuckin’ ice cubes from the ice maker in the freezer falling into the ice bucket!” he says smiling!

“No fuckin’ way?!” I say.

He nods “yes”…

“Baby, don’t make ice when I’m away anymore and you’ll be fine….let’s go to bed!” he says.

And he’s right…when he goes on a trip; I turn the ice maker off that day! ;)

I was SO sure that night that a door had slammed somewhere….it was ICE falling from the ice machine into the ice bucket!

Fourteen years ago, Paul was SO sure he was coming to my place to break up with me. He was SO certain that NOTHING could have convinced him otherwise. Until I broke open, stopped protecting, became my authentic vulnerable self that he had never seen. Then he had to question himself and his certainty… and he gave us another chance.

In life, we can be SO certain and still find out later that we were dead wrong.

So, answer this question sweetie. 

In two sentences, tell me: What do you know for certain about the current state of your relationship?

Say it out loud right now.


Let me ask you this, “Are you certain?”

Is what you just said about your relationship a “true fact” or is it the way you feel about your relationship right now?

Is it possible that there is any other way to see your relationship?

What would your partner say in their two sentences?

Who is right?

You already know the answer to that….you both are.

Be CAREFUL of what you are SO certain about.

If you said that your relationship is painful or that maybe it won’t last, be careful of your certainty. I can show you person after person that felt the same way, and successfully transformed their relationship to come back from the edge!

If you said that your relationship is passionless or lacking intimacy and you think you can’t get it back, be careful of your certainty. I can show you person after person that felt the same way, and successfully transformed their relationship to bring back the closeness and reignite the passion to experience hotter and more exciting intimacy than ever before!

If you described a situation that you think cannot be forgiven or repaired, be careful of your certainty. I can show you person after person that felt the same way, and successfully healed their relationship to start anew.

If you are not currently in a relationship and you think you can’t find it or it’s impossible to find the right person for you, be careful of your certainty. I can show you person after person that felt the same way, transformed themselves and then found themselves noticing and attracting a whole different caliber of partner!

If you described your relationship as being happy, in love and passionate, even if you described your relationship as being better than you ever imagined it could be for you….YOU have to be the MOST careful of what you are so certain of!

You read that correctly! I don’t care how magnificent your relationship is today. First, everything in this universe is either growing or it’s dying.  Do NOT get complacent my friend! Second, no matter how amazing your relationship is today, according to the Law of Familiarity, in time you will get used to your relationship as your “normal.”  No matter how good your relationship is today, it will eventually feel unfulfilling just because you get used to it.

Remember, one person can transform a relationship….ANY relationship!

Be CAREFUL of what you are SO certain about,

because it’s keeping you stuck where you are!

You may be so focused on what you know for sure…..a FEAR so real you are standing at the stairs, phone in hand, finger on the button, ready to dial that last ONE….all over some ice cubes!

Post your comment below – what WERE you certain of about your relationship? And what is possible to think about it now?

Sending love,


p.s. Paul and I have a BIG GIFT for you for Valentine’s Day! Next Thursday, January 29th we are releasing our brand new free 3-part video series “How to Reignite Your Passion for More Than Just One Night!”  It’s all about how to create your rock solid alignment with your partner and reignite the passion for lasting sparks and ravishing intimacy! Mark your calendar and watch your email for your free access!

p.p.s. Paul and I just finished up in our new studio filming the first two of these brand new videos. We have packed them with new content, tools, and strategies that we have NEVER shared before! Video number one will be available on January 29th!  Be sure to watch all 3 as soon as they are released because they won’t be available for free forever!


{ 13 Brilliant Comments from Dedicated Reader }

WHERE is your breakthrough?

January 15, 2015


What do you need to have a breakthrough? What does it take to break through whatever your current limitations are and reach the next level you truly desire?

You MUST be willing to leave your current comfort zone for your next level…that’s for sure!

To do that will require you to stretch and grow!

Sometimes breaking through to your next level is a small stretch, like writing 3 weeks’ worth of articles in one day to prepare for a deadline in your business.

And then there are times when breaking through to your next level is a big stretch…like adding a zero to your income level, taking your relationship to the next level, or getting fit and healthy.

What are the key strategies for breaking through?

The number ONE strategy that I can give you, the one that I have been using in every area of my life for two decades now is…MODEL!

Find someone who is already successfully living the result you want to attain and model them! Read their book, take their program, go to their event, join their mentoring and coaching programs!

Hands down…the number one strategy for breaking through faster, easier and better is to model someone who has already done it! (Preferably someone who also has mastery of teaching others to create the same results…repeatedly.)

There’s another secret ninja strategy to Breaking Through that the masters of breakthroughs all know, but not many people talk about.

Actually, this strategy is the SECRET that the masters use to ensure that their breakthroughs are MASSIVE, happen QUICKER and last LONGER!

What is this secret?


Change your location!

Get up… go out… get away!

You are probably thinking “That’s It?! It’s gotta be more complicated than that Stacey!”

I know it’s hard to believe!

You can go from stretching yourself little by little over time…to a massive breakthrough in a short amount of time by changing your location!

You can go from a temporary breakthrough where you regress to your old habits to wiring in a breakthrough that lasts years, decades, or a lifetime, just by changing your location!

It’s true!

There is science behind it…but the short story is, it’s human nature to resist change and run from discomfort.

Your current environment is designed to keep you where you are. And your nervous system is wired to resist the discomfort of change.

All your current patterns, dynamics, habits, people, and substances are wired into your current environment…and that environment has been successfully keeping you where you have been – it’s designed to keep you there.

Trying to break through in your current environment may be an uphill battle.  And, if you do succeed to break through, your environment may be pulling at you to bring you back to your old patterns in a short amount of time.

When you leave your “comfortable” environment and take yourself to another location, your nervous system works FOR you, instead of against you, empowering you to have bigger breakthroughs, quicker, that will last longer.

It doesn’t have to be a BIG change or a big deal.

For instance, last summer I had a writing project to do that was going to require me to write for about 30 hours. I wanted to do all the writing in a short period of time so I could stay in a FLOW state.

The writing was not a challenge for me. Everything I needed to write was already inside of me. So the writing project itself was not a stretch…I knew how to do that.

However, sitting still, focusing, and writing for 6 or 7 hours a day for several days…THAT was a STRETCH for me!

I knew that if I stayed in my home office, there was NO way that I would focus and write effectively, for that many hours on end, for several days in a row.

So I picked myself up and went to Starbucks to write!

I changed my environment.

At Starbucks, there are plenty of distractions, but they are not the SAME distractions that I am WIRED to at home. There’s plenty of noise at Starbucks, but it’s not the SAME noise that I am programmed to respond to at home.

I can’t be on auto-pilot at Starbucks.

Take that in for a moment…because that’s the real secret to changing your environment.

When I’m at Starbucks, I CANNOT be on autopilot like I am at home. I’m not acting ‘unconsciously’. My nervous system is awake and alert. It’s like my nervous system is saying “This is new, what is this?”

When your nervous system engages…when it experiences “newness”…it is SO much easier to have massive breakthroughs, quicker and have them last!

You are, by definition, open to newness!

When  you are OPEN to the newness…that’s the time to stretch yourself or get the mentoring, coaching or training you need to Break Through to your next level!

And the added bonus is that your environment isn’t pulling you back into your old patterns to sabotage you at the same time you are trying to break through.

This is why Paul and I travel to Stamford, CT at least 4 times a year to work with our mentors and mastermind group on our business. It’s why we still fly to Palm Dessert for 8 days to work with Tony Robbins on our own training and self-mastery.

And it’s why on April 30th we are flying to the beautiful Islands of the Bahamas with an exclusive group of people who want to break through in their relationships in just 4 days!

Because in 4 days in paradise, you will create your rock solid alignment and reignite your passion in a MASSIVE way, QUICKER and in a way that will last LONGER! (Breakthrough In Paradise details here)

Sounds awesome right?! It IS awesome…and it’s also really SMART!

Whether it’s going to Starbucks to focus on the modules of that virtual training program you want to do or flying to paradise to transform your relationship…When you combine a change in location with MODELING the … your breakthroughs will be MASSIVE, QUICK and LAST LONGER!

If you WATCH the MASTERS at breaking through, you will see them change their location. Watch them travel to go to their masterminds, watch them fly out to train with their mentors and coaches, watch them head out to a bed and breakfast to write their books, or travel to a tropical paradise to transform their lives!

Don’t take my word for it…WATCH and see for yourself!

Sending love,


p.s. There are still 5 spots available for the Breakthrough In Paradise event April 30 – May 3! Create your unshakable love and unleashed passion, surrounded by luxury, pampering and paradise! Get Event Details and Apply Here: http://BreakthroughInParadise.com

p.p.s Please post a comment below and tell me your biggest take away! If you liked this article, please LIKE and SHARE with your peeps!!

{ 2 Brilliant Comments from Dedicated Reader }

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