This week I met a 15 year old woman who inspires me, and her name is Madison.

Paul and I are HUGE believers in role models. I’m sure that’s no surprise to you. We also deeply believe in having date nights together at least 3 times a month. Put those two values together and you have an OPPORTUNITY!

As parents of young kids, Paul and I are always looking to ADD to our list of “baby sitters” to call on for weekend evenings out.  But we do NOT just look for baby-sitters. Paul and I seek out “role models” for our kids who are phenomenal care givers.

Opportunity! Paul and I are blessed that Jake and Grace get to spend time playing and learning from these special and unique girls!

That’s how I met Madison this week.  She was coming to our house to sit for Jake and Grace so Paul and I could enjoy an amazing date night out on Saturday.

As I was chatting with Madison and asked her what she loved about school this year, she told me all about her photography course, the pictures she took that are in the yearbook and all the different types of photography experiences she has planned.

This young woman LIT UP from the inside out when she talked about photography!

Of course, you know me, mission-driven entrepreneur that I am…all my alarms and bells started going off!!!! “This is her passion, this is her calling, fuel this fire Stacey, help her get to the next level, Go Go Go!” I hear in my head!! ;)

With beaming smile, I talk to her about Lindsay Musser, our phenomenal photographer and ask Madison if she might like me to introduce her to Lindsay and maybe she can tag along on one of Lindsay’s engagements sometime to get experience.

“YES!” Madison says “I would LOVE that!” And then she proceeds to tell me all about the photography school she wants to attend and what kind of photography work she wants to do and on and on.

Fantastic! I know Lindsay will be an amazing guide, mentor and role model for Madison!  Already I’m thinking about how Lindsay is going to photograph our entire three day live event (The Relationship Breakthrough Retreat) this summer and how maybe Madison can intern for her and be at our event…surrounded by lots of VORTEXY people that she probably doesn’t get to be around too much in her world! Excellent!

And so it is, we will do whatever we can to fuel Madison’s passion for photography and help her GET to spend her time in her passion, in school and for work too!

The next day, I was talking to someone who knows Madison really well and she told me something that stopped me in my tracks.

She told me that…

Madison told her mom that instead of having a Sweet 16 party, could she please have the money to buy a really expensive camera that she wants for her photography instead!

I’m crying just telling YOU about it again today! This GIRL is 15 years old!

Why does that stop me in my tracks and make me cry?

Because what I am witnessing in Madison is a PURE passion, her gift in life, her calling, combined with the decision making ability and massive action… that results in a masterful life!

“It’s in your moments of decision, that your destiny is shaped.” – Anthony Robbins

This is exactly what Tony is talking about when he says it’s in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped! It’s ALL about the decisions that we make and the action that we take! Nothing happens until you decide and a decision without action is really just a dream!

So the tears come because what I am witnessing is a WOMAN fueled by her passion, who ALREADY has excellent decision making “software” running her show and is wired to take massive action, because she is fueled by passion!!  AND SHE’S 15!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a STRONG belief that when you are VERY clear on what you want, and you declare it to the universe with passion and intensity, the universe will rearrange itself to bring you what you want!

And that’s when magic happens.

I know this is true because it happens in my life every day. And today, I am declaring to do my part to rearrange the universe in Madison’s best interest!

Paul and I will continue to encourage Madison, inspire her, make sure she spends more time around us to see how mission-driven entrepreneurs “do good” in the world in a big way!

At just 15, this woman has already proven that she makes decisions from the heart! She doesn’t take the easy way either. How many 15 year old girls do you think would buy a camera for their passion instead of having a big sweet 16 party??

Instead of SPENDING her resources on the instant gratification and significance of a big party, she is staying true to herself, and her passion and INVESTING in herself!

She’s an inspiration!

The next time you have an opportunity in front of you, and a choice as to what to do with your resources (your time, your money, your focus) think about Madison!!

Will you SPEND your resources on things that are an escape, instant gratification, alleviate the symptom or meet your need for significance, or will you INVEST in yourself, feed your passion and create the life you want!!!

Madison is just 15. And yet, her inspirational story teaches us ALL a great lesson!

Sending love,

Stacey

p.s. Wanna be an angel today and help fund Madison’s Photography Dream?!?!

I fully believe that you cannot attract what you do not celebrate!!! So, I’m putting resources behind Madison’s choice and if you feel called, I welcome you to join me in celebrating her!

Madison wants a really great camera to use for her photography! As you know, she is willing to forgo her Sweet 16 to get it. I want to help her! Will you help her too?

I’ve started a GoFundMe campaign for Madison’s camera, with a goal of reaching $2,000.  http://www.gofundme.com/8klnj4

Yes, it’s true, she does not have cancer and no one is going to DIE if she doesn’t get this camera. But I DEEPLY believe in putting my resources into being a FORCE FOR GOOD, not just to avoid suffering and pain…but to bring more LIGHT, GOODNESS and LOVE into the world!

So whether you donate $5, $50 or $500, please contribute if you feel called! Let’s show Madison that “the universe” rewards people who make great decisions and take massive action! http://www.gofundme.com/8klnj4

This is Madison…

MadisonPhotography

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InfluenceWhile coaching one of my private clients recently, I had one of those “I’VE BEEN TOTALLY WRONG ABOUT THIS!” moments!

I love those!

The coaching call started off perfectly normal. He came to the call, I asked him what his biggest challenge was that he wanted to break-through in today’s session and he told me.  Off we go!

My client had a challenging interaction coming up that he wanted to prepare for with me so he could achieve the best possible outcome for all involved. Great! Piece of cake!

As I always do when I’m about to teach someone the master skills of “Influence” I spouted off my typical warning…

“I completely believe in what you are doing and that it’s for the greatest good of all, so I will teach you part of the art and the science of influencing others because I trust you to always use this skill for good and not to manipulate others.”

I was always very careful not to teach “influence” on a broad scale because I was concerned that the skills I teach would be used to manipulate others for someone’s own ego-serving desires and not for the greatest good of all.  It’s a powerful skill to have and I didn’t want to teach someone who would then go out and about influencing others with less than positive motive.

In explaining one of the pillars of influence to my client, I created a new distinction that totally changed everything! I love when that happens.

The pillar (and this is only ONE of the pillars of influence) that I was explaining was that when two people engage, and there is rapport, the person with the most confidence and the most congruency will ALWAYS influence the other person.

As I explained that “congruency” means that your words, your actions, your movement, your energy and your intentions are all in alignment…I had my aha moment!

In order for you to influence ANYONE you must be congruent.  Therefore, someone who does NOT have positive intentions for the greatest good of all, will LACK congruency when they engage with another person! Meaning, their energy and intention will not be in alignment with their words.

Thus, someone trying to manipulate or exert less than positive intent would not be able to successfully influence someone else even if they learned the SKILLS of influence!

So I really can teach “influence” to a larger audience without “screening” who will USE it for good vs evil….because it can’t effectively be used for “evil” since the execution would lack congruency and the influence would not be effective!

Whooo Hoooooo!!!! So awesome!!!!

So today I want to share with you TWO of the master skills of influence that I shared with my client! I would love to share more with you, but in the brief time we have together, I can only squeeze in two!

Key to Influence #1: Intention is essential!

Influence is not a bad word!!!

For me, influence is always used for the highest good, to influence others to come from their highest self and act from love and not fear.

When your intention is to influence someone to be MORE of who they really are, to step into life, be more authentic, come from service and act from love instead of fear, then influence is a divine tool!

I do not influence others to get to my greatest good, that’s manipulation (the negative flavor of manipulation).

If you do that kind of crap, you should know that it rarely works anymore anyway.

When you enter a situation with the intention of influencing the other person for your own gain, they immediately feel that.  Then they get defensive and protective, they focus their energy on their own gain and now no one wins because neither of you want to “give it up” to the other person.  You already KNOW that.

You’ve probably been on the receiving end of this kind of interaction and needed to protect or remove yourself from engaging with someone so they wouldn’t “take advantage” of you.  How much influence did they have with you? None, right? You can see them coming a mile away.

That’s why the ONLY way to effectively influence anyone is to come from the energy of service!

To walk into every situation looking to discover the win-win-win for everyone’s greatest good.   Win for you, win for them and win for the greater good (the universe).

When you enter the situation with THAT as your outcome, your influence-ability just skyrocketed!

Mind you, there are still several more pillars to effective influence, so you’re not a master influencer just yet. But this is where it begins.

So the next time you are approaching a situation where your intention is to INFLUENCE the other person, be sure to check in with yourself!

Is your intention to influence them to agree to what YOU want? That’s ok, no judgment and don’t beat yourself up. But just be conscious of the fact that your ability to INFLUENCE the other person is really slim when that is your intention, because they will FEEL that…just like you feel it when someone comes at you intending to influence you to what they want.

If your intention is NOT to discover the win-win-win then you are not ready yet!  Your outcome must be for the win-win-win! If you are stuck here, key #2 will help!!

KEY to Influence #2: You Must Release “THE HOW”!

You cannot be set in HOW you get to your outcome if you are seeking to influence others to the greatest good.

If you are attached to the HOW, then you’re not going to influence the other person, you’re just engaging in a conversation about whether or not they will come over to your side. And they “may” or they “may not” depending on whether or not it meets their needs.

When your intention is to discover the win-win-win, the key is to be OPEN to the perspective and insights from the other person or people you engage with.  Your intention is to stay focused on the outcome that is for the greatest good for all. HOW you get there is very flexible! There are always at least three ways to do anything!

In intimate relationships, people are often trying to influence their partner to get what they want. If it’s not working for you (and it rarely does), perhaps these KEYS will give you some insight into why your approach is not working, and what you need to do in order to effectively influence your partner!

So here’s the thing…INFLUENCE is NOT a bad word!

Somewhere along the way “Influence” became a bad word and folks started believing that influence was something you did TO people for your own gain.

When you effectively influence others, you do it FOR them, to help them get out of their own way, release from fear, and move forward toward their greatest good and the greatest good for all!

I trust that you will begin your path towards influencing others and use it only FOR GOOD! Because the truth is, when your intention is less than positive, you won’t influence anyone anyway!!!

Sending love,

Stacey

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